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 Dear Liam...

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Lod
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PostSubject: Dear Liam...   Mon Mar 23, 2009 7:57 am

Like on the old XX Forums, I will provide my insight into helping you with your problems like an Agony Aunt.
Some people know what to expect, others prepare for the expectations of those who know what to expect.
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eattheword
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PostSubject: Re: Dear Liam...   Mon Mar 23, 2009 8:31 am

oLiam0 wrote:
Like on the old XX Forums, I will provide my insight into helping you with your problems like an Agony Aunt.
Some people know what to expect, others prepare for the expectations of those who know what to expect.

I'm sure that with a bit of imagination you could turn this column into a script for a successful TV programme. Everybody Loves Liam...
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Lod
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PostSubject: Re: Dear Liam...   Mon Mar 23, 2009 8:40 am

o.O nah already been used and so has the everybody hates one too. Needs a title that hasn't been used before like "A title about stuff written by Liam" or "Send the kids to bed Liams about" although I think Michael Jackson has something like that already, "Lock up your Sons, Your daughters will be fine."
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eattheword
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PostSubject: Re: Dear Liam...   Mon Mar 23, 2009 8:45 am

oLiam0 wrote:
o.O nah already been used and so has the everybody hates one too. Needs a title that hasn't been used before like "A title about stuff written by Liam" or "Send the kids to bed Liams about" although I think Michael Jackson has something like that already, "Lock up your Sons, Your daughters will be fine."

You completely missed the central point of my post. It's the TV show idea dammit, not the title. The title was a joke idea to get you thinking.

Talk To Liam, The Hand's Not Listening
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Lod
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PostSubject: Re: Dear Liam...   Mon Mar 23, 2009 8:52 am

Talk to the Hand cause the Head can't Hear ya
Can you imagine me doing a sitcom. Be like friends on crack or PCP and running around naked with babies popping out, there eye balls the very entrance to madness which is ruled over by a scotsman who's kilt is forever been blown over his waist revealing shrivelled balls as is his curse... Either that people getting kicked in the nutsack on a regular occasion accompined by farting sounds.
Critics would call it the high point of comedy.
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SixHousePull
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PostSubject: Re: Dear Liam...   Mon Mar 23, 2009 5:46 pm

Having this topic here makes me beyond happy.

I did move it though to General Random Chat.
Welcome to the forum Liam. <3
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Lod
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PostSubject: Re: Dear Liam...   Tue Mar 24, 2009 4:57 am

WOOT! NEW HOME! Random is my Domain!
Glad to be here Sixx.

Now come on people let me know your problems so I can give you insight. INSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT.
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eattheword
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PostSubject: Re: Dear Liam...   Tue Mar 24, 2009 5:27 am

oLiam0 wrote:
WOOT! NEW HOME! Random is my Domain!
Glad to be here Sixx.

Now come on people let me know your problems so I can give you insight. INSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT.

Well, lately I have seen a lot of people sitting on a fence. I am worried the fence might break. What to do?
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Lod
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PostSubject: Re: Dear Liam...   Tue Mar 24, 2009 5:38 am

Well there are many things that you could do. Like let the fence break so there will be no fence for people to be on or push the people off the fence. Use a stick to keep your distance and poke em off or use poo at the end of it.

Or you can get in close and personal and push em off. Is this a picket fence where the tops of the fence are all pointed and stuff? Cause if so, then maybe leaving em on the fence cause they like the sharpness and attention it brings with their cries of pain/joy/sadistic pleasure attracts to them people who will listen to em.
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groovy
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PostSubject: Re: Dear Liam...   Wed Apr 01, 2009 9:33 pm

pointy sticks r sweet
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Lod
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PostSubject: Re: Dear Liam...   Thu Apr 02, 2009 3:32 am

Indeed they are, however you have to watch out for them splinters.
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SixHousePull
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PostSubject: Re: Dear Liam...   Thu Apr 23, 2009 6:29 pm

Dear Liam,

How does one go about killing their idiot boss with out having to do the Weekend At Bernie's thing?
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Lod
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PostSubject: Re: Dear Liam...   Fri Apr 24, 2009 3:56 am

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
Dear Liam,

How does one go about killing their idiot boss with out having to do the Weekend At Bernie's thing?

<.<
>.>
You wearing a wire?
*searches for bugs*
Better not be wearing a god damn wire!
>.>
<.<
Push him into a wood chipper or run him over with a lawn mower.
Now I know its hard for you to get your hands on a lawn mower cause you don't mow lawns, so heres what you do.

You get the guy drunk, then you start talking about evil knevil or however you spell it, and say to him "I could do what he does on a lawnmower!" Now obviously he's gonna be all "No you can't! You don't mow lawns" so you go "Bet you I could jump over you with one!"

Now as your going up the ramp simply go slow yourself down so that you land on him and when the cops ask, all you have to say is "I didn't mean to, I saw it on the telly been done by stunt men! THEY MADE ME DO IT THEY ARE A BAD INFLUENCE! I'M A CATHOLIC AND I WAS AN ALTER BOY!"

As for the wood chipper way all you have to do is say that you have faulty machinery and like say you need him to look it over to get his okay and approval to send it. When he goes to look it over tell its a problem with the blades and that he is going to have to look closely at them. If he asks why ye can't take it apart say it would void the warranty and then you would have to pay to get it fixed. When he climbs in hit the switch "Accidently-on porpose". When the cops ask simply say "I told him that the machine was faulty and that we should open it up but he just climbed in and said that he'll fix it and then this happened and OH MY GAWD I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS HAPPENED!"

Give him a load of viagra, spray him with pheromones and set him loose in a sex addicts meeting/young nympomaniac psyciatric ward and keep feeding him viagras till he has a heart attack from the over action.

Or you could drive him to suicide. Kidnap his family and replace them with actors who look exactly like them and make them feel all bad and get him all depressed, have his "wife" laugh at his pee pee and all that.

__________________________

Quote :
Listen to Liam. He makes sense. - Rxforwar

Quote :
"I agree with all Liam has said so far" - Seyel

Quote :
"Sorry Cel I agree with everything Liam has said so far." - Rrwatch

Quote :
"You know what I was going to do? Make a thread on here called: "Lod, the man of few words."
You don't say much do you? :3" - vengeance7times

Quote :
"Tequila and i ee in love. She nevef gives me hangover. But she lujes tl bite me when o takr her straight. Liam... i shall savw tgis for you not gonna edit. Of i do tour sllowed to have xel comr salp me.
Fuxkjb touch screeb ketboards." - iRideAPalmer


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SixHousePull
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PostSubject: Re: Dear Liam...   Fri Apr 24, 2009 7:32 pm

Nice.

The wood chipper thing is twisted and evil. Twisted Evil
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Lod
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PostSubject: Re: Dear Liam...   Mon Apr 27, 2009 3:34 am

Another satisfied customer.

__________________________

Quote :
Listen to Liam. He makes sense. - Rxforwar

Quote :
"I agree with all Liam has said so far" - Seyel

Quote :
"Sorry Cel I agree with everything Liam has said so far." - Rrwatch

Quote :
"You know what I was going to do? Make a thread on here called: "Lod, the man of few words."
You don't say much do you? :3" - vengeance7times

Quote :
"Tequila and i ee in love. She nevef gives me hangover. But she lujes tl bite me when o takr her straight. Liam... i shall savw tgis for you not gonna edit. Of i do tour sllowed to have xel comr salp me.
Fuxkjb touch screeb ketboards." - iRideAPalmer


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SixHousePull
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PostSubject: Re: Dear Liam...   Tue May 26, 2009 6:10 am

Dear Liam,
How does one go about calling their boss at 6 am to tell him they have decided to extend their three day weekend one more day after all.

Its supposed to rain most of today so really, I dont think he would mind.
He can be a bit grumpy in the ams though.
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Lod
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PostSubject: Re: Dear Liam...   Tue May 26, 2009 6:15 am

Well it seems to me that you are worried more about him been grumpy, so here is what I recommend.
Give your wife the phone, have her say into the reciever when he picks up, "oooh baby, yeah, mmmmmm" in a sexy voice.

Then just let him know that your taking the extra day after all due to the rain.
He will either be very confused as to what happened or will be to horney to care.

OH AND MAKE SURE SHE DOES THE LITTLE SQUEEKY SQUEEL THAT ENDS WITH A SHORT SOUNDING "OOO" THATS LOUD!

__________________________

Quote :
Listen to Liam. He makes sense. - Rxforwar

Quote :
"I agree with all Liam has said so far" - Seyel

Quote :
"Sorry Cel I agree with everything Liam has said so far." - Rrwatch

Quote :
"You know what I was going to do? Make a thread on here called: "Lod, the man of few words."
You don't say much do you? :3" - vengeance7times

Quote :
"Tequila and i ee in love. She nevef gives me hangover. But she lujes tl bite me when o takr her straight. Liam... i shall savw tgis for you not gonna edit. Of i do tour sllowed to have xel comr salp me.
Fuxkjb touch screeb ketboards." - iRideAPalmer


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Last edited by Liam on Tue May 26, 2009 6:19 am; edited 1 time in total
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eattheword
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PostSubject: Re: Dear Liam...   Tue May 26, 2009 6:16 am

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
Dear Liam,
How does one go about calling their boss at 6 am to tell him they have decided to extend their three day weekend one more day after all.

Its supposed to rain most of today so really, I dont think he would mind.
He can be a bit grumpy in the ams though.

I always put a good emolient cream on my ams. Problem solved.
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SixHousePull
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PostSubject: Re: Dear Liam...   Tue May 26, 2009 6:24 am

lol ET


I can try that Liam but.....ya know never mind.
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SixHousePull
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PostSubject: Re: Dear Liam...   Tue May 26, 2009 6:30 am

It is done.


I just decided to make those sexy noises myself.


He couldnt get off the phone fast enough. Laughing


Im joking.....




or am I? Suspect
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Lod
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PostSubject: Re: Dear Liam...   Tue May 26, 2009 6:43 am

Hmmm Making the noises yourself. Makes people uncomfortable and hurries things along. Could also be a two fold element in that he will be avoiding you for some time, thus giving you some peace and quiet and will most likely agree to what you want for the sake of hurrying you along.

Quite well done.

__________________________

Quote :
Listen to Liam. He makes sense. - Rxforwar

Quote :
"I agree with all Liam has said so far" - Seyel

Quote :
"Sorry Cel I agree with everything Liam has said so far." - Rrwatch

Quote :
"You know what I was going to do? Make a thread on here called: "Lod, the man of few words."
You don't say much do you? :3" - vengeance7times

Quote :
"Tequila and i ee in love. She nevef gives me hangover. But she lujes tl bite me when o takr her straight. Liam... i shall savw tgis for you not gonna edit. Of i do tour sllowed to have xel comr salp me.
Fuxkjb touch screeb ketboards." - iRideAPalmer


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SixHousePull
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PostSubject: Re: Dear Liam...   Tue May 26, 2009 6:48 am

Ive learned from the best. Very Happy= :D
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Lod
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PostSubject: Re: Dear Liam...   Tue May 26, 2009 6:51 am

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
Ive learned from the best. Very Happy= :D

O.o where is he I'll kick him square in the nuts!

__________________________

Quote :
Listen to Liam. He makes sense. - Rxforwar

Quote :
"I agree with all Liam has said so far" - Seyel

Quote :
"Sorry Cel I agree with everything Liam has said so far." - Rrwatch

Quote :
"You know what I was going to do? Make a thread on here called: "Lod, the man of few words."
You don't say much do you? :3" - vengeance7times

Quote :
"Tequila and i ee in love. She nevef gives me hangover. But she lujes tl bite me when o takr her straight. Liam... i shall savw tgis for you not gonna edit. Of i do tour sllowed to have xel comr salp me.
Fuxkjb touch screeb ketboards." - iRideAPalmer


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SixHousePull
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PostSubject: Re: Dear Liam...   Tue May 26, 2009 7:14 am

*Holds up mirror for Liam*
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Lod
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PostSubject: Re: Dear Liam...   Tue May 26, 2009 7:27 am

I see... hmmm *turn foot so that it is pointed out to my right, bends knee fast and connects with my nuts*
...
...
...
If you say your gonna do something then do it.

__________________________

Quote :
Listen to Liam. He makes sense. - Rxforwar

Quote :
"I agree with all Liam has said so far" - Seyel

Quote :
"Sorry Cel I agree with everything Liam has said so far." - Rrwatch

Quote :
"You know what I was going to do? Make a thread on here called: "Lod, the man of few words."
You don't say much do you? :3" - vengeance7times

Quote :
"Tequila and i ee in love. She nevef gives me hangover. But she lujes tl bite me when o takr her straight. Liam... i shall savw tgis for you not gonna edit. Of i do tour sllowed to have xel comr salp me.
Fuxkjb touch screeb ketboards." - iRideAPalmer


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Dear Liam...

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