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 Thanatophobia (Fear of death)

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Mitchell
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PostSubject: Thanatophobia (Fear of death)   Mon Jun 25, 2012 6:10 am

I'm sure that all of you, at some point in your lives, have experinced this common phobia. Indeed, the first time, usually in your youth, that you realize the fact that death is inescapable and unpredictable can create a sense of dread in one's mind that can lead to depressing thoughts that may never fully leave them. I myself am experiencing the reacurrence of this fear within my mind after a few years of abscence and it's hard not to think about it when you are alone especially. It's not a great feeling and will most definitely lead to me not enjoying life as much as usual. I hope what I just typed is understandable because it can be difficult to explain well sometimes.

This thread is for general discussion on the phobia in general ( experiences/ thoughts/ ideas etc) . It would be even better if people could post advice, if they have any, on how to overcome this great fear.
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Lod
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PostSubject: Re: Thanatophobia (Fear of death)   Mon Jun 25, 2012 6:52 am

\_(o.o)_/ It's gonna happen eventually, no-one gets out of this life alive, and blah blah blah blah. Eventually being afraid of something so constant I got bored of it and instead started to enjoy what I do.

And nothing is pointless.

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SparklyBazongaz,
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PostSubject: Re: Thanatophobia (Fear of death)   Mon Jun 25, 2012 7:11 am

I don't fear my own death (In fact I welcome it) but I freak out and have massive panic attacks at the mere mention of anyone in my family dying...

It's pretty hard to deal with it when my mum is always going on about 'Oh, we won't be here forever you know' or 'I could drop dead at any second' usually she says this when shes lecturing me on being a responsible young adult..
but ohmygod, I freak out and cling to her for dear life and say NOPE. NEVER.


Whenever it pops into my mind, (I have weird thought patterns... alternate reality with my characters/personalities kinda does that to ya Razz) it usually happens randomly and its such a crippling thought...
I always make sure I have my ipod with me at all times, so I can just shove my headphones in and blast some music, I really try to focus on the lyrics and just do anything to distract me from those thoughts otherwise I become a sobbing wreck..

Or if I find myself in a situation where I absolutely can't stop thinking about it, and things get really crazy, that's generally when one of my 'characters' take over, and then I come back a few hours later, not remembering much of what happened in that time... which isn't so much fun... so I try to distract myself before I get to that point.

Plus I love writing so I always have a spare notebook and pen with me, if I'm sitting somewhere I just start writing down every single thought and find 'solutions' or counteract the negativity with a positive outcome.


so advice, try to find a distraction, so something that requires a lot of concentration and just try to not dwell on it too much.
if you have a good friend that is willing to listen, feel free to rant about it, talk about exactly what you're thinking, try to figure out what triggered you to think that way and maybe come up with solutions to help you cope with it so the next time it comes back to your mind you'll be able to handle it a bit better
(:


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Seyel
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PostSubject: Re: Thanatophobia (Fear of death)   Mon Jun 25, 2012 8:01 am

I had that in the past, I was constantly worried, but now it has faded. I was told that it has to do with feeling you have many things in life pending to do, and I must say it makes sense now. It is as if we are scared of not having time to do the things that we consider important and essential. Once I started doing tiny steps towards getting what I wanted, the fear started to be less important and once I hit milestones, it almost went away. I don't mean to say I don't mind death anymore, I do, I value my life a lot, I will only have one and I won't waste it, but I am not irrationally scared of dying at any second by some random stuff. Is that what you feel?

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nobody
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PostSubject: Re: Thanatophobia (Fear of death)   Mon Jun 25, 2012 9:15 am

I've never felt this. Other times I've told people this they have basically said bullshit, but it's not like I'm acting brave or tough or anything, I'm just very detached. I don't see the big deal about death. I find it odd how people celebrate life, but fear death. They are equals. Death shouldn't be any different then life. And it seems the biggest problem with death isn't death itself but losing those you've grown attached. Which as I've said I am a very detached person, and don't even feel that attached to anyone. Not even my parents. Which I find odd
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Dingo
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PostSubject: Re: Thanatophobia (Fear of death)   Mon Jun 25, 2012 9:26 am

Me died once and it was boring so me came back.
For reals me has died before (20mins) when me was born. Me dont fear death or hide from it
.
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PostSubject: Re: Thanatophobia (Fear of death)   Mon Jun 25, 2012 9:37 am

As others have said. Death is merely a part of life. I can either spend my time fearing it, or I can spend my time enjoying life. I'll go ahead and do the latter. When it happens, it happens. It's out of my control.

Now hypodermic needles. Get those little bastards away from me. Laughing
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CobaltMonkey
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PostSubject: Re: Thanatophobia (Fear of death)   Mon Jun 25, 2012 9:57 am

Can't help but notice this comes up after you start playing Demon's Souls. Laughing

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SwiftJusticeATX
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PostSubject: Re: Thanatophobia (Fear of death)   Mon Jun 25, 2012 11:05 am

I don't necessarily fear death, more like the uncertainty of it. I have been fortunate to not have lost anyone close to me yet, so I don't know how I'll react. I've been told that I am "emotionally retarded" in regards to death.
I usually have the "fear" when a big change occurs or is pending. Could be a friend getting a new job, a big event is coming up, or usually when 1 of my kids hits a milestone. I try to focus on the good stuff and am usually over it fairly quickly. The same milestone that freaks me out can also be the thing that gets me out of the funk.
My advice is to find your "happy place" ( as Chubbs would say). That thing will always put a smile on your face no matter what. You're a young dude full of emotions, but still with plenty of stuff ahead of you. Good, bad, crazy, fun, confusing, etc. Death is inescapable, so no need to waste the good times thinking about. Spend time making good memories with those close to you because they will get you through the rough patches and you for them.
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rrwatch
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PostSubject: Re: Thanatophobia (Fear of death)   Mon Jun 25, 2012 3:47 pm

I watch this
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and then this
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and I don't feel a scared anymore. Yes, I have my Avvy on a Tshirt.... Why do you ask ?
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SwiftJusticeATX
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PostSubject: Re: Thanatophobia (Fear of death)   Mon Jun 25, 2012 5:16 pm

Cowbell is one of those things I talked about. It always makes me laugh.
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Mitchell
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PostSubject: Re: Thanatophobia (Fear of death)   Tue Jun 26, 2012 1:35 am

Seyel wrote:
I had that in the past, I was constantly worried, but now it has faded. I was told that it has to do with feeling you have many things in life pending to do, and I must say it makes sense now. It is as if we are scared of not having time to do the things that we consider important and essential. Once I started doing tiny steps towards getting what I wanted, the fear started to be less important and once I hit milestones, it almost went away. I don't mean to say I don't mind death anymore, I do, I value my life a lot, I will only have one and I won't waste it, but I am not irrationally scared of dying at any second by some random stuff. Is that what you feel?

Kind of, as you said, I only have one life and don't want to waste it by not living long. It;s also worthwhile to note that I have had a lot of unfinished "things to do" on my mind lately.

@Monkey, I never actually thought of that lol
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nobody
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PostSubject: Re: Thanatophobia (Fear of death)   Tue Jun 26, 2012 6:25 am

Quote :
I only have one life and don't want to waste it by not living long

i never understood that mind set, because the way I see things is once I die I wont care what I did in life, and wont be able to wish I had done more. either after death there is nothing which means I have no consciousness to regret anything, (which is what I strongly believe) or youd be too busy with what post death sort of thing to be worrying about this life.

its a catch 22 of sorts. while your living your worried about it ending too soon and not experiencing enough, but then as soon as your fears would become reality then its no longer relevant. and it doesnt matter that you didnt experience enough.
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PostSubject: Re: Thanatophobia (Fear of death)   Tue Jun 26, 2012 10:46 am

I j-walk like a Explative. Livin' life on the edge.

Funny though, that the one time I was almost run flat (as in, he stopped one inch short of plowing me 30ft down the road), I wasn't doing anything wrong lol. What followed makes for a great story, but no one ever believes it :/
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nobody
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PostSubject: Re: Thanatophobia (Fear of death)   Tue Jun 26, 2012 12:53 pm

That reminds me of random crazy thoughts I have sometimes. Like when driving i start thinking about what would happen if i were to swerve into the car in the other lane and hit it head on. And kinda feel like doing it, but I know id never do that.
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rrwatch
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PostSubject: Re: Thanatophobia (Fear of death)   Tue Jun 26, 2012 3:34 pm

My Dad got cancer at 61. He was a Korean war veteran and a bad ass. For a year he went through chemo and 2 operations but cancer won. The last couple of months I could see the fear in his eyes, I was with him when he got the call that he was a goner and there were no options left. Looking at death staring you in the face is a hard thing and I don't think anyone here could predict 100% what they would do. It will happen eventually to all of us, my family will be financially secure if it happens to me prematurely and thats a priority for me. I think my legacy will be my family and kids I've done my best by them and I think thats the most important thing for me. I don't "Fear The Reaper" but I am prepared for him..... meanwhile I just add a little extra cowbell.
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Seyel
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PostSubject: Re: Thanatophobia (Fear of death)   Tue Jun 26, 2012 4:07 pm

nobody wrote:
Quote :
I only have one life and don't want to waste it by not living long

i never understood that mind set, because the way I see things is once I die I wont care what I did in life, and wont be able to wish I had done more. either after death there is nothing which means I have no consciousness to regret anything, (which is what I strongly believe) or youd be too busy with what post death sort of thing to be worrying about this life.

its a catch 22 of sorts. while your living your worried about it ending too soon and not experiencing enough, but then as soon as your fears would become reality then its no longer relevant. and it doesn't matter that you didnt experience enough.

Ok, I also think there is nothing else afterlife, at least not a conscience, but that does not mean I should waste my life or I should be careless about it. You also seem to assume that you will die suddenly and that's it, you go from being alive to being dead without a chance to think about your past. I want to be old, as old as possible whilst healthy, look back to my past and think I did well, think I was successful at whatever, think that I brought up a wonderful family. I think that humans have survival instincts by default, imo if you do not feel them there might something else affecting you, like depression. Life is precious. We only have one. We should make the most of it and imo that means doing meaningful things, things that can be passed on, things that will survive us, whether it is in the form of good memories from others, new life or some form of art. I used to be really freaked out at the prospect of dying because I had done nothing that could survive me. Once that changed, the fear stopped.

In my personal opinion, I feel it is a waste to spend life just partying and caring little for anything else. What's the point? I rather spend the day having a good conversation, learning something new, writing stuff and spending the time cuddling my other half. Think for a second of a few good memories you have.... done? .... I bet that the things you remember as good memories have nothing to do with material stuff but with special moments with people or maybe spiritual moments. That is the real stuff for me, that is what I want to treasure for the future.

Mitch, what I can say is that I used to feel that way when I had lots of things unfinished. Once I started finishing things, the fear stopped. I was scared of not finishing anything and not giving my life a real meaning or purpose. I feel a human being is more than a mere animal that eats, sleeps, fights and procreates. I want to do more than that, I want to be proud of myself when I am older, proud of what I have achieved as a person, proud of the way I behaved. If I regret stuff, I try to learn from it. I do not want to get to my eighties or nineties and think that I have wasted my life in meaningless stuff.



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nobody
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PostSubject: Re: Thanatophobia (Fear of death)   Tue Jun 26, 2012 4:51 pm

we clearly have very different views. I dont see why it matters if I do anything important with my life. I dont even see the point in seeking happiness. not when I can be perfectly fine being content. if I am satisified with my life why do I need to try to fill it with stuff just so I can feel like I did stuff? it doesnt serve any real purpose. and in the end is all just irreverent.

I have no plans for a family, or even a girlfriend. I dont even have any ambitions. I have nothing I wish to do in my life except make enough money so that i dont have to work. after that I can retire and not have to worry about doing anything. (also I dont expect anyone to understand this pov, as it is basically the total opposite of what society expects from us)
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rrwatch
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PostSubject: Re: Thanatophobia (Fear of death)   Wed Jun 27, 2012 1:13 pm

Why the hermit stuff Nobody ? It seems like you like human interaction over the keyboard.
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nobody
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PostSubject: Re: Thanatophobia (Fear of death)   Wed Jun 27, 2012 11:00 pm

I live and breath gaming. not just playing games, but the game industry as a whole. (a lot of stuff this board never talks about because the way it is set up is geared towards talking about specific games) the only people I care to talk to and that would even understand what I am talking about is other gamers, not just any gamers but hardcore gamers the ones that go on message boards. the ones that understand wtf they are talking about and I can discuss things with them on a deep enough level. (thats why i almost never leave the gaming boards...only reason I did was none of the gaming sections on the forums i frequent were very active so i was bored.)

What I most enjoy is when someone disagrees with me, and we have what most call an argument. but to me an argument has too much of a negative connotation. and generally implies anger or hostility. most disagreements I have on message boards are like an argument without the anger, and hostility. its about 2 people speaking their minds open and honestly. not holding anything back, but at the same time not saying things just because they are insulting. it is human expression in its purest form without social conventions interfering, and that is something you cant get IRL.




besides I only have 2 main things i like to talk about, 1 is gaming, the other is my F'ed up world views. but I dont like to discuss part 2 with people I know IRL
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rrwatch
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PostSubject: Re: Thanatophobia (Fear of death)   Thu Jun 28, 2012 1:32 am

I can understand where you are coming from and different opinions make things interesting. I guess if you want to die in the middle of finishing a game then thats ok by me. Personally I want to finish the best game I ever played , eat a great meal, watch a favorite movie, then get me some while great music is playing in the backround, and finally surrounded by family and friends and a large amount of some sort of opiate coursing thru my blood I pass on happily and content.
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nobody
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PostSubject: Re: Thanatophobia (Fear of death)   Thu Jun 28, 2012 2:57 am

that just seems like overkill, and not really worth the effort.

besides the pursuit of happiness is a rollar coaster. you cant stay up at the top the whole time, you gotta come back down, and when your down you want to climb back up because you liked the view, and the view down below sucks. but if you never went up youd never know what you missed out on, and can live without worrying about whats up top.

(not a perfect analogy, but you get the point)
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rrwatch
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PostSubject: Re: Thanatophobia (Fear of death)   Thu Jun 28, 2012 9:55 am

What seems like overkill to you looks perfect to me. I've been up and down my whole life personally , financially, health . I have a lot of life experience. The downs do make the highs feel better and the highs make the down stuff worse. Almost like a game.......
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Cel
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PostSubject: Re: Thanatophobia (Fear of death)   Fri Jul 06, 2012 12:39 am

Interesting thread no doubt.
I believe in no afterlife.None! I believe that once expired,lights out..game over! That in itself is frighting.Hard to imagine that this is the only life we get.Nothing is pretty about that thought. "Life is limited,death is endless".Can't undo what has been wrong.Can't say I love you.Can't hug love ones.Done!
Knowing this in my own way of thinking it makes me live life differently.Knowing that I will never be here again makes me want this life even more.To make the best of what has been given to me.To say I love you as often as possible.To treat people the way I would like to be treated.(Golden rule even for an athiest). No time for the bullshit because time is precious.
So I say fear not of death.It is bound to happen.Be afraid that at the end you haven't left your mark.Be afraid that those left behind know not your true self and how you truly felt for them.Be afraid of regrets.
"The gods envy us.Everything is more beautiful because we are doomed.."
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nobody
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PostSubject: Re: Thanatophobia (Fear of death)   Thu Jul 12, 2012 12:48 pm

thats interesting. I share your same belief, but have the opposite reaction to it. I find comfort in the fact that once I die I simply cease to exist. there is nothing else after.

and it doesnt matter what I do in life, I have no need to leave my mark or be remembered, because after I die it wont matter to me at all.
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